Thursday, June 28, 2007

That'll Be the Deity

Wow, I had no idea that being God, the Creator of the Universe, was so supremely dull that this is what he chooses to focus his energies on:
New Kensington resident Joey Salvati, 39, a father of two, was in the shower about a month ago when he first heard God speak to him about the matter. Whether it was an external or internal voice, he wasn't sure. He tried to ignore it, but it kept coming back, day after day, until he realized he had to do something about it. The message was for Salvati to make wooden paddles for corporal punishment and give them to parents who need help disciplining their children.
Curing disease and suffering? Nope. Putting an end to poverty? Uh-uh. Telling humans that killing people in his name is really bad idea? Not gonna happen, God's got better things to do. But making wooden paddles to beat the shit out of kids? Yep.

Oy gevalt.

1 comment:

Rakovsky said...

Richard,

Your comment was hilarious:
"Curing disease and suffering? Nope. Putting an end to poverty? Uh-uh. Telling humans that killing people in his name is really bad idea? Not gonna happen, God's got better things to do. But making wooden paddles to beat the shit out of kids? Yep."

The report said:
<>

What Mr. Salvati failed to do was test the spirits. Demons can appear as angels of light. He just followed the demonic voice's orders to make boards to beat kids with. This is like when people say a voice they assume is "God" told them to kill people.

He assumes it was God because it happened while he was praying?

How many times did the devil appear to Martin Luther and to holy people to try to make them sin?