At any rate, one of my experiments in this vein was a comedy-drama feature-length screenplay called Mass Medea, a tale of the rise and fall of a technology magazine during the Internet boom. Since it's 130 pages, I'll only post bits of it at a time so as to not give Blogger a nervous breakdown.
"Mass Medea"
An Original Screenplay
An Original Screenplay
FADE IN:
EXT. SAN FRANCISCO - DAY
As TITLES run, various shots of the skyline of San Francisco. As TITLES end,
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. JANICE’S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
ESTABLISHING SHOT
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. JANICE’S LIVING ROOM - DAYJANICE FRANKEN, 22, lives in a small, two-bedroom apartment. It has that certain appealingly disheveled just-graduated-from-college look to it. It is about 6 a.m. The TELEVISION is on, tuned to CNBC.
Janice pads out of the bedroom wearing a ratty bathrobe and a pair of slippers. She has obviously not slept much of the night.NEWSCASTER(on TV)...Could the Dow hit 20,000--or even higher—sometime during 1999? That’s the contention of a new book, Dow 36,000, co-written by James Glassman, economics columnist for the Washington Post.
As she passes the front door on her way to the kitchen, it opens and her roommate, CAROL, 22, enters. She is just getting home from work.NEWSCASTER (CONT’D)The basic argument of the book is that in this new economy, stocks are no riskier than bonds in the long term and should be priced accordingly...
(on TV)
Carol shuts the door.CAROLWhy is there half a mouse on the doormat?JANICEAnother love offering from Chuck and Bob’s cat is my guess.CAROLJesus, it’s nature red in tooth and claw in here.JANICEAre you just getting in?CAROLWhatever gave you that idea?
JANICEGive me a break. I got exactly one hour of sleep last night.CAROLWhy? Did Wild Kingdom out there keep you up?JANICEI’m starting a new job today.CAROLReally? I could never have guessed, especially given how you’ve been obsessing about it all week.JANICEYeah, yeah, yeah. It took forever for me to get this job. I’m nervous about it.CAROLWhat magazine is it again? Dork Monthly?JANICEBite me.CAROLWe’re in the middle of the biggest economic boom in the history of this country, we’re living right in the epicenter of it, and leave it to you to be the only person in San Francisco who takes six months to find a job.JANICEHey, that guy on Market Street last night didn’t have a job.CAROLWell, that’s because he couldn’t go five minutes without yelling at the top of his lungs about impending Armageddon. You didn’t do that on any of your job interviews, did you?JANICEDamn! That’s why the job hunt took so long.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. BAY BRIDGE - DAY
ESTABLISHING SHOT
Traffic is backed up and unmoving on the Bay Bridge. Among the traffic is a silver Lexus.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. NEAL’S CAR - DAYThe driver of the silver Lexus is NEAL MOSLEY, 38. He is talking on a cellphone.
NEALYes, I know I shouldn’t be talking while driving but I’m not driving. I’m sitting. A truck filled with garlic overturned. The Bay Bridge is blocked by five tons of garlic bulbs. It’s like an Emeril fantasy out here...I told you, I have to go to Oakland to pick up some scans. We have to get the issue to the printer today...if I ever get off this goddamn bridge!...No, honey, sorry. You know how I get when I’m stuck in traffic....No, that road rage incident was a complete fluke. Who knew that guy could read lips?....No, I won’t be home for dinner. I’ll probably be in the office until late. You know the drill.
(on phone)(He cranes his neck to see up the road.)Actually, it’s entirely possible I’ll be stuck on this bridge until late...
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. GEORGE’S APARTMENT HOUSE - DAY
ESTABLISHING SHOT
George lives in a Tales of the City-like apartment house. Lots of stairs, lots of vegetation.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. GEORGE’S BEDROOM - DAY
The apartment is only slightly more upscale than Janice’s. The bedroom is that of a 20-something single male. GEORGE STEIN, 25, is sound asleep in bed, despite the fact that a boombox next to the bed is blaring LOUD MUSIC (Spock’s Beard’s “Day for Night.”) There is a THUD on the ceiling above him that is just barely audible above the music, but it wakes George nonetheless.
He gets up and walks out to the kitchen.GEORGENot again...
INT. GEORGE’S KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
There is a full pot of coffee already brewed on he counter. George pours himself a mug and stands at the kitchen sink staring into space blankly. He catches a glimpse of the clock, which says “8:27.” He starts and does a spit-take.
GEORGEShit!
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. CALTRAIN - DAY
CARL HOGARTH, 42, is sitting on a moderately crowded Caltrain train as it RUMBLES down the track. Next to him is a very-early-20-something man on a cellphone. Carl tries to read a book, but ANNOYING CELLPHONE MAN’s conversation keeps distracting him.
Carl, trying to read his book, has been growing ever more visibly frustrated. The “Crisco” comment elicits a bemused/confused expression.ANNOYING CELLPHONE MANWhat does Victor think? Can we get Pullman to kick in the VC money we need?...But that’s crazy...No, look, I want to IPO by...I don’t care how unreasonable you think that is, I think it makes perfect sense. The infrastructure is nearly in place, the servers are humming, and aside from that one software glitch, which Rohit fixed, we have no problems. The spinning logo looks great, the animation is dynamic, and the site design is top-notch. I think we’re cooking with Crisco here....
(on phone)
Carl is unable to stifle a laugh, which attracts the attention of Annoying Cellphone Man. Carl pretends it was something he read, despite the fact that the book he’s reading is “The Complete Techie’s Guide to Red Hat Linux.”ANNOYING CELLPHONE MAN (CONT’D)What’s the latest on the UPS question?...Well, where is she? Why isn’t...This should have been resolved last week...I mean, if we’re going to get sofas-and-sleepers.com off the ground, I need to know how much UPS will charge us to ship a couch....
(on phone)
The train stops, and accepts and discharges a complement of passengers. One of the boarding passengers is a HOMELESS GUY, with long greasy grayish black hair and a thick beard. Annoying Cellphone Man dials a new number.
Carl stands and offers Homeless Guy his seat. Homeless Man sits down. Annoying Cellphone Man wrinkles his nose, and looks over at Homeless Guy. Carl smiles mischievously as he walks to the other end of the train.ANNOYING CELLPHONE MANCarol! It’s Martin! Look I need the UPS question answered now!
(on phone—and loudly)
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. COOL GADGETS OFFICE BUILDING - DAY
ESTABLISHING SHOT
The Cool Gadgets building is a not especially new building in San Francisco’s SOMA district.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. BRIAN’S OFFICE - DAY
BRIAN MORSE, 44, is sitting at his desk. He is talking to ED over a speakerphone.
Brian clicks off the speakerphone and dashes out of his office.BRIANEd, Brian.EDGood morning, Brian. What’s new on the Left Coast?
(O.C., on speakerphone)BRIANNot much...yet. We’re shipping the issue to the printer tonight, so it’ll be a long day.EDThanks for reminding me. I’ll make it a point not to call Neal today.
(O.C., on speakerphone)BRIANThat would be advisable. Ed, I just wanted to let you know that Katz Software is having a press event at the Hilton in Midtown. Once again, they forgot to put you on the list, but I cleared your credentials with Jackie. So if you just show up you’ll be fine.EDWell, I’ve only been your East Coast editor for a year, and Katz’s PR guy is dumber than a bag full of hammers. What time?
(O.C., on speakerphone)BRIAN2:00 your time.EDI’ll be there. Katz always hires the best caterers.
(O.C., on speakerphone)BRIANGracias.EDBy the way, I’m having e-mail problems this morning, so if you need me, the phone is the best option.
(O.C., on speakerphone)BRIANGotcha.(suddenly remembers something)Oh, shit!EDIt’s not my fault. Blame Bell Atlantic.
(O.C., on speakerphone)BRIANNo, I forgot to fix the server before Neal gets in. Gotta go.EDI hear you. Ciao.
(O.C., on speakerphone)
INT. RECEPTION AREA - DAY
The Cool Gadgets reception area is opposite the elevator, which opens, and Janice exits. She is dressed formally. She walks through a set of glass doors to the reception area, which looks clean, sterile, and corporate. Behind the reception desk on the wall is a large framed poster of the debut issue of the magazine, and elsewhere on the walls are various framed magazine covers, interior pages, and so forth. On the reception desk are several loose copies of the latest issue. As Janice approaches the tall reception desk, she can’t see anyone behind it.
The phone rings and the as-yet-unseen Terri answers it. She is very polite, and her voice sounds like that of a professional receptionist.
TERRI, 19, stands up. She has fluorescent pink hair, a variety of piercings (ear, nose, lip, and tongue), and wears a white tank top that shows off her many tattoos, the most prominent of which reads “Michelle” in a large heart. She startles Janice—in a variety of ways.TERRIGood morning, Cool Gadgets....Circulation? One moment, please.
(O.C., on phone)
Terri looks at Janice.TERRIDave, dog! Line 1!
(yelling off to her left)
From the left comes DAVE, who looks to be the male counterpart of Terri—he is also in his late teens, but has vibrant blue hair. He has no piercings, but his cutoff shorts display an array of tattoos on his legs.TERRIMay I help you?JANICEUm, yes. I’m Janice Franken. I’m looking for Neal Mosley. I’m his new...TERRIRight...you’re the new meat.JANICESorry?
Janice begins to catch on that he’s joking and smiles nervously.DAVEThat guy was pissed because his issue was a day late. Like I can control the fucking Post Office.TERRIDave, this is Janice, Neal’s new victim. Janice, this is Dave, the circulation director.DAVEYou’re working for Neal? Man, you have my sympathy.TERRII’m Terri, by the way.JANICEHi. Um, what happened to Neal’s previous assistant?DAVEJust cracked up. The guys in white coats had to come get him. Last I heard he’s in some nuthouse down the coast.
Janice heads right.DAVESeriously, though, good luck.JANICEThanks. Where is...TERRI(pointing to the left)The newsroom? Head that way, take your first left and then the next left. You can’t miss it.JANICEThanks.
INT. NEWSROOM - DAY
Cool Gadgets magazine’s main editorial and production newsroom is a large open room, the back of which is lined with three adjacent offices. There is a large round table in the center of the room, which at the moment, is piled high with papers, magazines, random pieces of computer hardware, and boxes of software. Off the left side of the newsroom is Brian’s office. On the far right is one of those Staples-like pre-fab computer desks atop which sits a computer—the company’s server. The newsroom is a bit shabby and run-down—“lived in” might be a better term—in contrast to the slick cleanliness of the reception area.
Brian’s legs protrude from under the server desk. His head and torso cannot be seen. He is noodling with cables.
Janice enters from the right and walks past Brian. No one else is around, and she looks around confusedly. She walks over to Brian’s office, pokes her head inside, sees no one, and walks back through the room. She spies Brian’s legs and stops.
Brian starts and loudly bumps his head on the underside of the computer table.JANICEExcuse me…
Brian emerges and struggles to his feet, rubbing his head.BRIANShit! Ow!
He goes straight to the computer and begins clicking the mouse.JANICEOh, Mr. Morse, I’m so sorry. This isn’t a very auspicious way to begin my first day.
(horrified)BRIANThe first thing I’m going to do is put a bell around your neck.
Janice watches him, unsure of what to do or say next.BRIANAha! The network is back. Neal will be so happy.
He begins stacking things under the table.BRIANJanice, right?
(turning to her)JANICEYes, I-BRIANYou’re the new editorial assistant Neal just hired.JANICEWell, I don’t know for how much longer…
(sheepishly)BRIANAh, don’t worry about that.
(rubbing his head)(He extends his hand.)Brian Morse, publisher of Cool Gadgets magazine.JANICEJanice Franken, editorial assistant.
(shaking his hand)BRIANYes, I know.(He turns back to the computer and starts clicking the mouse again. They speak as he works.)Sorry for being so distracted, but if the network isn’t working by the time Neal gets in he’ll kill me.(He clicks some more.)So…are you new to San Francisco?JANICEPretty new. I’m from Perth.BRIANPerth? Australia?JANICENew York. It’s a very small town in upstate New York. Near Albany. I went to school in Albany.BRIANI don’t know if I’ve ever been to Albany. I’ve been to—what’s that city that’s the capital of New York?JANICEThat would be Albany.BRIANReally?
(stops)JANICEYes.BRIANYou’re sure about that?JANICEExtremely sure, yes.BRIANSyracuse! I thought it was Syracuse.JANICEIt’s not.BRIANReally?JANICEThe signs in Albany that say “Capital Buildings Next Exit” are a pretty good clue.
(Brian turns to face her and gives a faint smile.)BRIANSassing the publisher already, are you? And after you make him smack his head on a computer desk, too.JANICEI’m sorry, I didn’t…
(mortified)BRIANRelax. You’ve got attitude—-you’ll need that around here. I don’t know that we’ve found you a desk yet. Here--(He motions to the round table)I guess we could put you here for the time being. I’ll just clear away some of this crap.
George enters. He trudges slowly and is not quite awake.
George exits. Neal enters hurriedly.GEORGEToday is not going to be a good day.BRIANGood morning, George.
(mock-perkily)GEORGEBite me hard.BRIANRough night?GEORGEI got exactly two hours of sleep, thanks to my horrible upstairs neighbors.BRIANAh, the Dutch couple.JANICEYou have a Dutch couple living above you?GEORGEI assume they’re Dutch.JANICEYou heard them speaking Dutch?BRIANOh, boy….GEORGEWooden shoes!BRIANWhat a great set up!
(laughs)GEORGE(not laughing)Yeah, yeah, yeah.JANICE(a bit embarrassed, but amused nonetheless)I take it they’re loud?GEORGENot only are they, by the sound of it, world-champion clog dancers, but last night—all night—they were practicing for what I can only assume to be the finals in the large metallic orb dropping competition.JANICEOrb dropping?
(laughs)GEORGEIt would have to be! I laid there for hours trying to think of what in the world they could possibly be doing, and that was all I could come up with.BRIANOrb dropping.GEORGEMetallic orb dropping.BRIANI see.GEORGESo today’s going to be a complete blow-off.BRIANWe do have to get the issue done by midnight. If I remember correctly, you still have that interview with Camilla Dane from Webcorp to get into Neal.GEORGEShit, you’re right. Can I punt?BRIANHey, I’m happy to sell another ad and put it there, but Neal might have something to say about it. Unless I’m mistaken, he’s playing up the interview on the cover.GEORGEYeah, it’s big juju. She never talks to anyone, preferring to live some kind of Howard Hughes-like existence. He might want me to finish it.BRIANBy the way, this is Janice. Neal’s new assistant.GEORGEOh, right, glad to meet you. Welcome to the jungle.(He shakes her hand, then turns and shambles over to his office.)Is there coffee?BRIANIs the Pope Catholic?
GEORGE(dropping his backpack on his desk and returning to the center of the room)That’s always been my assumption but I can’t say anything for certain at the moment.
Neal darts into his office, drops his briefcase on his chair, and straightens his tie. He returns to the center of the room.NEALSorry I’m late.BRIANNeal, you were here until 1:30 last night. I’m going to complain because you come in at 9:20?
Neal disappears back into his office.NEALI had to pick up a CD-ROM with some scans from a service bureau in Oakland and naturally traffic was backed up on the Bay Bridge.(to Janice)You must be Janice.JANICEYes, um, good morning.NEALRight. As soon as I get settled I’ll show you what I need you to do this morning. Brian, what’s the network situation? Do we have our DSL back up?BRIANAll systems go.
NEAL
Fine, thank you.
Brian retires to his office. Janice finishes clearing off the table that is to be her desk. George ambles back in holding a large mug of coffee.BRIAN(to Janice)I’ll leave you to it, then. Good luck.JANICEThanks.
(somewhat nervously)
Neal emerges from his office.GEORGEIs this where Neal is putting you?JANICEI guess so. That’s what Brian said.GEORGEWe’ll get you a real desk before long. This is a hectic time of month.JANICEThat must explain why Neal seems so…GEORGEPsycho? Nah, he’s always like that.JANICEThat’s reassuring.
(now even more nervous)GEORGEDon’t be nervous. Neal’s a good a guy. He just takes some getting used to.
HELEN RUTHERFORD, 57, enters.NEALWe have got to get a new messenger service. I called them at 8:30 to pick this up and they said they couldn’t get out to Oakland until noon. That’s completely unacceptable.
Helen continues on to her office.HELENOh, dear, has there been another problem with Quicksilver Messengers?GEORGEThey’ve got mercury poisoning, apparently.HELENAren’t we the wit this morning?NEALYou’ve been complaining about the messenger service?HELENIf Jesus Christ were alive, he would complain about the messenger service. Now, I’m going to get final text for the Tech Update department by 10 o’clock, right?NEALYes.HELENAnd are the scans for the PDA feature on the production server?NEALI put them there last night. And you’ll also get first-pass pages back in 15 minutes.HELENThat’s what I like to hear.
George heads to his desk.GEORGEI like that. Quick, decisive action.NEALWhere’s my Webcorp story?GEORGEOn the editorial server in 20 minutes.
(spins toward his office)
Neal looks at the table that Janice had been clearing.NEALNow, Janice, what I’m going to have you do is proofread pages.
(points to Janice)JANICEOK.
Janice is now completely terrified, and looks down at one of the piles that Brian had put on the floor. She picks them up.NEALWhere did they go?JANICEUm—NEALThey were on this table. Helen had printed them out last night. They were right here. Where did everything that was on this table go?
(starting to freak out)JANICEBrian was clearing a place for me to sit.NEALJesus fucking Christ, this place—Could people leave things where I put them. The more I try to keep things organized, the more chaotic it gets.
(sighs heavily)
He heads to his office and sits at his computer, his back to the door. Janice sits down and looks at the pages in front of her. She seems confident and starts making marks.JANICEThese look like page proofs.NEALAh, yes. Great.
(grabbing them)(He puts them on the table in front of her.)Now, these are pages from the issue were working on. Read through them and mark any typos, misspellings, punctuation errors, things like that When you’re done, please give them to Helen.JANICERight.NEALOh, and they need to be done—JANICEIn 15 minutes?NEALRight. Thanks.
INT. NEAL’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
JEAN ROSSI, 41, enters hurriedly. She is holding a sheet of paper. She KNOCKS on Neal’s door. Their exchange is mock-combative—with Neal a tad less mock than Jean.
Neal dashes out of his office and into George’s.JEANNeal...NEAL(spinning around)Jean...Shit, don’t tell me...JEANDon’t freak out...NEALDon’t fucking tell me...JEANI have a change to the run-up. Page 38--NEALNot again.JEANPage 38--NEALJean, the point of giving me a run-up a week before production begins is so that I know how many ad pages there are and how many editorial pages I can have.JEANYes, having been a managing editor for almost 10 years, I’m vaguely aware of how the magazine publishing process works.NEALIf you’re going to change the run-up less than 12 hours before we go to press, why do we bother with it in the first place?JEANAnd why do people drive yellow cars?NEALWhat?
(shakes his head, bewildered)JEANThere are many questions that defy easy answers. Anyway, page 38 now has a half-page horizontal ad.NEALSo I lose 500 words of Mark’s feature.JEANApparently, yes.NEALAnd that page was done, too. I love doing the same thing 50 times.JEANJust think how good you’ll be at it.NEALYou’re going to be no help at all today, are you?JEANWhen am I ever?
(smiles)NEALGood point. Let me go repair the damage you’ve inflicted.
INT. GEORGE’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Neal dashes into Helen’s office. Jean follows him.NEALGeorge, I need you to go into the Edited Text folder and cut 500 words from Mark’s feature. Let Helen know when you’re done.GEORGEGotcha.
INT. HELEN’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Jean sticks her tongue out at him.NEALHelen, page 38 is now a half page.JEANFPO image is on the ad server. File is called “New Horizon.”HELENThanks.NEALWe’re going to be 500 words long on Mark’s feature. George is cutting it. Please add our “Web Extra” box at the end of the article. You can pick it up from page 56 of last month’s issue.HELENNo problem.NEALThanks.(to JEAN)See? You think you can screw up my magazine? Hah!
They all disperse to their respective offices.HELENCan you people go away now?
INT. NEWSROOM - CONTINIOUS
Carl enters and walks into Brian’s office.
INT. BRIAN’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Carl sits own on a chair in front of Brian’s desk and watches Brian have a phone conversation. Carl is holding a camera. As Brian talks, Carl is playing with the camera, examining its features, etc.
He SLAMS down the phone.BRIANWhat does the rate card say?... Well, then why are you…Did you point out that we have a circ of--?...I know exactly what Modern Electronics has, and we’re ahead of them…Yes, again, look at your rate card! That little pie chart that Helen spent two hours making? That tells you exactly who our readership is…. Tom! If you’re not going to bother looking at the sales materials we give you, I don’t know what else I can do.... We’ve had a very good relationship with MediaBus, and when I met Miriam at the HP party two months ago she said they would definitely sign in July. This is July…. Look, Tom, I’ve got Carl in my office right now. Just get MediaBus in the next issue, all right? One more full-page ad and we can go up to 104 pages in September…. Bye.
(on phone)
Brian takes the camera and examines it.BRIANThis is getting ridiculous.
(to Carl)CARLTom Braxton?BRIANYou know what his biggest problem as a salesman is?CARLHe can’t sell?BRIANHe can’t sell! The man couldn’t sell space heaters to Eskimos.CARLWell, that would be hard sell.BRIANThe man can’t sell!CARLYou can’t put a space heater in an igloo.BRIANHuh?CARLYou can’t put a space heater in an igloo.BRIANWhy not?CARLYou’d melt the igloo. And then you’d just have a bunch of homeless Eskimos. And no one wants that.BRIANI don’t care about homeless Eskimos.CARLYou heartless bastard.BRIANWhat did you come in here for, anyway?CARLThe latest in digital photography.
(holds up the camera)
Carl rises.BRIANWe’re reviewing this?CARLIndeed we are. Six megapixels, SLR design, built-in histogram, uncompressed TIFF file format, 128 megabyte PC card, Carl Zeiss lens. I’m quite impressed.BRIANHow many stars?CARLNow, you know—BRIANCarl...CARLYou know I hate star ratings.BRIANI know you do, but Neal loves them, the manufacturers love them, and the readers love them, so guess what? We use them. How many stars?CARLI find whole-star increments far too limiting. Even half-star increments I find very hard to work with.BRIANI know you do. But I remember when you gave something 3 and 13/68ths of a star. I remember how Neal reacted, and none of us wants that again.CARLIt’s impossible to sum up all the pluses and minuses of a product in a single rating. I mean, not all pluses are pluses for everyone, and—BRIANYes, yes, I get it. We’ve had this conversation more than a few times. Take it up with Neal.CARLYou seem to be giving more and more of the decisions to Neal.BRIANNeal’s the editor. When he does things I disagree with, I let him know it, but Neal’s damn good at what he does. Unlike some other employees we’ve got.
(shrugs)CARLLike Tom Braxton.BRIANLike Tom Braxton.CARLMaybe you should fire him.BRIANWhy?CARLTo coin a phrase, “he can’t sell.”BRIANI can’t fire Tom.CARLI know you can’t.BRIANTom and I go way back, to Antares Systems days. I introduced him to his wife, for crying out loud. When Xerox let him go, I was the only one willing to hire him.CARLAnd now you know why.BRIANI guess I just keep hoping he’ll turn around. I mean, MediaBus should be cake.CARLOh, like Miriam is going to do anything to make your life easy after—BRIANWe did not end bitterly!CARLAny relationship that lasts in its entirety over the course of a week-long trade show can’t possibly not end bitterly.BRIANLook, that was a long time ago…CARLWhat about asking Marv to go out on sales calls with Tom? Marv is a great sales guy; half the book are Marv’s accounts. Maybe he can teach Tom a thing or two.BRIANIt’s worth thinking about. Unfortunately, Marv is in New York and Tom is in L.A.CARLAs an expert on modern technology, I should point out that they have airplanes now.BRIANShouldn’t you be working?CARLAll my stuff is filed. I’m just waiting for either Helen or Neal to need me to help with production.NEAL(O.C., bellowing)Carl!BRIANHis master’s voice.
INT. NEWSROOM - CONTINUOUSCARLThink about the Marv and Tom thing. You can’t fire Tom.BRIANI know. I will. Thanks.
Neal stands in the doorway to his office.
Carl exits.CARLYou bellowed?NEALYes. I put two technology reports in your folder on the editorial server. I need you to do a quick technical edit, and then put them in Helen’s production folder ASAP.CARLYou got it.
Neal runs into Helen’s office.HELENNeal!
(bellowing)
INT. HELEN’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
INT. NEWSROOM - CONTINUOUSNEALWhat is it?HELENWhat the hell is this?
(holding up the pages Janice gave her)NEALI don’t know, what the hell is that?HELENYour new assistant decided to rewrite the page one stories rather than just proofread them. Please inform her that rewriting is not done at this stage, unless she thinks she has too much blood in her body.NEALSorry, she’s new.HELENI know. That’s why I’m yelling at you.NEALI’ll talk to her.
NEAL walks over to Janice’s table.
George comes out of his office.NEALJanice, about the pages...JANICEI know. I heard.NEALYou heard?JANICEThis isn’t a very big office.NEALAh. Please go back through these pages and mark “stet” next to everything that isn’t a typo.JANICESure. Sorry.
Neal dashes back into his office.NEALGeorge, Webcorp story?GEORGEReady and waiting for you.NEALExcellent. Thank you.
They exchange warm smiles.JANICEI have a question. Should there be a capital letter right in the middle of a word?
(to George, pointing to the page proof with her pen)GEORGESadly, yes. It’s called “intercapping.” Computer companies like to strew capital letters randomly throughout company and product names. I think they do it to drive proofreaders nuts.JANICEThat’s pretty weird.GEORGEThey’re computer companies. They’re run by people who got beat up a lot in high school and this is part of their vengeance on the world.JANICEThat would explain any computer program I’ve ever used.
(laughs)
George walks back to his office, Janice stares after him, pauses, lost in thought for a moment, then returns to rereading her pages.NEALGeorge! Leave Janice alone!
(bellowing from his office)GEORGEWell, I’ll leave you to it, then.JANICEIf you must.
DISSOLVE TO:
To be continued...
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