Tasmanian Devil

Why can't I ever stumble across these things when out for a walk on the beach?

A giant squid washed up on the shores of Tasmania has scientists in a frenzy.
...
They will take samples from the massive creature, which has been identified by Tasmania Parks and Wildlife as giant squid Architeuthis.
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The hood of the squid is about two metres long and the body a couple of metres long.

A TPWS spokesman said the tentacles have been badly mangled so their length could not be measured.
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A member of the public made the discovery last night.

Heh

The Onion is on top of things with a new magazine launch:

New Pompous Asshole Magazine To Compete With Cigar Aficionado

NEW YORK—Upscale consumers who enjoy cigars, wine, and "all the finer things in life" will have a new magazine to enjoy beginning next month when Pompous Asshole hits the stands. Targeted at the 23- to 60-year-old pompous-asshole demographic, the new monthly magazine is expected to compete directly with Cigar Aficionado for advertising dollars. "Pompous Asshole is the magazine of the good life," said publisher Paul Westman, "And, unlike Cigar Aficionado, we truly cover it all: From tips on choosing the right humidor to advice on where to gamble in Monte Carlo to the lowdown on the new Jaguar XJ8, Pompous Asshole is the magazine no rich prick can afford to be without."

More Walkies

Yesterday, the Two Rivers group and I went for a hike up Bash Bish Falls near Taconic State Park, in the "three corners" area (where New York, Masschusetts, and Connecticut meet). It was billed as an easy hike to the falls, then a "slightly" more arduous trek up the falls (or, more properly, up the side of the falls). At the bottom is a bulletin board containing a half dozen or so news stories of people who have died while hiking there--typically by ignoring the "do not go beyond this point" signs or doing similarly dumb things. (My recurring question was whether the name "Bash Bish" came from the sound of hikers caroming off rocks.)
Anyway, the extremely steep ascent was quite arduous indeed; fortunately, there is a metal handrail you can use to help hoist yourself up (would installing an escalator chairlift kill them?). We lunched on a small plateau midway up the falls, which I thought was part of the legal trail but actually wasn't so we got chased off by a park ranger. The view from the top was quite spectacular, and the very steep descent even more challenging than the ascent, IMO, thanks to the, um, gravity of the situation. Happily, the six of us made it up and down none the worse for wear--a few bruises and cuts and some aching muscles, but that's about it. Still, it was a great deal of fun.
I think it's time to invest in a good pair of hiking boots....

Aloha, "Octosquid"

This is cool:

Scientists at the University of Hawaii at Manoa will soon have a chance to investigate a creature that appears to be half squid, half octopus that was found in waters off the Big Island.

It appears that the creature was sucked up in a deep seawater pipeline at the Natural Energy Laboratory Hawaii Authority at Keahole on the Big Island.
The pipeline pumps cold water up from 3,000 feet below sea level. Occasionally deep-sea marine life will get caught in a filter in the line, officials said.

Workers call the latest find an "octosquid." It has the body of a squid and the tentacles of an octopus.

This isn't entirely unheard of; marine biologists have already found Taningia danae, an eight-armed deep sea squid.

Cold Calling

If you're eager to get out of your wireless contrat (and, quite frankly, who wouldn't be?), Sprint makes it easy: just call customer service too much:

A Sprint customer, whose personal information has been obscured in this image, recently received this letter from Sprint Nextel saying that his contract would be canceled because Sprint believed he had contacted customer service too much. Other subscribers received similar alerts.

Cutting Remarks

You know, not all economic news has to be depressing. If you're in the market for a machete and are worried about overpaying for one, you're in luck:

The price of machetes has halved in parts of Nigeria since the end of general elections in April because demand from thugs sponsored by politicians has subsided, the state-owned News Agency of Nigeria reported.

NAN surveyed prices in the northeastern state of Gombe and found that a good quality machete was now selling for 400 naira ($3) compared with 800 naira before the elections, which were marred by politically motivated violence in many states.

It's common to overlook the "hired thug" factor when analyzing economic data.

Electile Dysfunction

It's safe to say that politics is the entertainment branch of government, and nothing is more purportedly entertaining than Presidential election campaigns. So I say, let's make 'em more entertaining, by giving this list of dark horse candidates a chance on the national stage. I mean, come on, does not this sound like appealing commander-in-chief, if only for the kicky robe:

Jonathon Albert "The Impaler" Sharkey — 43, Satanist/pagan who is the founder, national chair and commanding general in the 1st Vampyre, Witches, Pagans Party Regiment (2006-present); former U.S. Army soldier; former board member of Hillborough, New Jersey's County Executive Republican Committee; dark priest/ advisor to the Church of the Followers of Lucifer; founder and national chair of Vampyres, Witches, Pagans Against Impaired Driving (2005-present). As an ordained Satanic dark priest, vows to perform same-sex marriages at White House at least once a month and to only impale criminals and terrorists, not law-abiding American citizens.

Hmm...I dunno, the Hillsborough NJ Executive Republican Committee... Sounds fishy to me.

But having this guy in a debate would be fun:

Gene Amondson — 64, running for the second time for the Prohibition party, Amondson has spent the past 20 years dressing up as the Grim Reaper with a whiskey bottle in one hand and a scythe in the other to preach the ills of liquor. Also a wood carver, oil painter, pie baker, children's book author and professional impersonator of 1900s evangelical anti-booze preacher Billy Sunday.

It would be fun to watch, but I can't get on board with the whole Prohibition thing...

And it's almost hard to believe this guy is single:

Jackson Kirk Grimes — 56, a single pagan with a GED who once portrayed Hitler on "Star Trek," this director of the United Fascist Union (which promotes the economic theories and political ideologies of Benito Mussolini and Saddam Hussein) and two-time presidential candidate promises to abolish paper money and create a global government if elected.

You have to admit, these clowns are not appreciably worse than the usual bozos who run--or who have even been elected.

Airport Insecurity

Oh, this is comforting:

The Albany International Airport supports efforts to improve security, after government inspectors managed to sneak fake bomb parts through an airport checkpoint.
...
In one test, TSA inspectors hid the components of a fake bomb in carry-on luggage that also had a bottle of water. The TSA screeners at the airport confiscated the water bottle -- passengers cannot carry on more than three ounces -- but missed the bomb.

Well, at least the water bottle didn't get through! Call me cyncial, but I can't help but think that is designed so that passengers are forced to buy the extortionately priced water at the airport convenience stores (assuming bottled water isn't extortionately priced to begin with).

I would have thought that security at smaller, less crowded airports would be more thorough than zooish big airports, but maybe not. Perhaps small airports have a false sense of...security.

List-O-Mania

TV Guide has revised its list of the top 30 cult TV shows. Let's see: Nos. 1 (absolutely), 2, 4, 5, 6, especially 7, 9, very much 13, 14, definitely 16, and you betcha 25 are some of my favorite shows...well, ever, and pretty much sum up a large chunk of my DVD library. (What, no Futurama?) As for the rest of the top 10, well, I liked Buffy (I rented all the seasons at various points) but never obsessively. And The Simpsons--well, that goes without saying, although it's been years since I have watched it. Never liked Xena.

London Calling

Buoyed by the success of the Atlanta flight, I have officially booked a flight to London for next month. Blimey! Depending on the willingness of my hosts to indulge an utter dork, I do hope to get a chance to visit Portmeirion Village in Wales, if only to make Vince N. jealous.

Chime and Punishment

I love the "Selling It: Goofs, Glitches, and Gotchas" in the print edition of Consumer Reports. I did like this one offer:
Stun gun...wind chimes...it's a fine line. Actually, having lived next door to people who have had wind chimes, I don't find that the difference is too great. Wind chimes do tend to do more lasting psychological damage, as, on windy days, they gradually drive you to madness. At least a stun gun is quick.

A Show of Hands

Last night, I trotted up to the Saratoga Performing Arts Center (SPAC) to see one of my all-time favorite bands in the world--Rush. Scarily, it has been 25 years since I went to my first Rush concert (1982's Exit...Stage Left tour at the now-gone Boston Garden). I saw them three or four more times since--the 1983 Signals tour, probably the 1984 Grace Under Pressure tour, and in 1985 while in college, Ken A., Todd B., Steven H., and Mike K. and I trekked to Binghamton, NY, battling Mike K's increasing psychosis (don't even ask) to catch them on the Power Windows tour. That was actually the last I would really listen to Rush until "rediscovering" them in 1999. They toured again in 2002 and I had caught them at SPAC at the time.

Anyway, they put on a terrific show. They have never been ones to just "phone it in"; they put 100% into every note and it shows. The new album (Snakes and Arrows) is really good and the songs were even better live. The background visuals worked well and there were some funny video clips (Rush have rarely gotten credit for their sense of humor). Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas (actually old school friends of singer/bassist Geddy Lee) appeared in their old SCTV roles of Bob and Doug McKenzie, doing a skit to introduce "The Larger Bowl" (I couldn't tell if it was an old clip or a new one) and a South Park animation had the kids pretending to be Rush and screwing up "Tom Sawyer" (I never liked South Park, but it was pretty funny). The 2002 stage set had included--oddly--three clothes dryers that were never explained, and this time there were three large rotisseries full of chickens. Occasionally, in the middle of a song, someone would come out in an apron and chef's hat and baste them. It tied in tenuously with the introductory video clip, but was just kind of surreal.

The most striking thing about the show was the song selection. Since Rush have never had any real hits to speak of, the band's entire discography has always been fair game--in fact, Rush fans would probably love it if the band picked more obscure album tracks. "Tom Sawyer" and "The Spirit of Radio" are really the only two "must-plays" and everything else is up to what the band feels like playing. In 2002, they had played a lot of tracks from the 1989-1996 period, but this time around, they only played one song from that period, instead favoring the 1980-1981 period. The oldest song was actually my least favorite song from 1976's 2112. The Permanent Waves album was almost played in its entirety. They even did two songs from 1982's Signals--their ill-advised "synth" album whose songs seem to work better in a live setting. I'm certainly not complaining ("Natural Science" is probably my favorite Rush song, even if they did excise a verse, but then it is a 10-minute song), although one misses old concert staples like "The Trees" or "Red Barchetta."

They did two one-hour sets and a 15-minute encore. They had quite a lot of energy for three fifty-somethings--more than I did, as my feet were killing me after having had to stand for three hours. I also discovered that SPAC is a 40-minute walk from my house.

The complete song list played last night (with the album the song is from) was:

Limelight (Moving Pictures, 1981)
Digital Man (Signals, 1982)
Entre Nous (Permanent Waves, 1980)
Mission (Hold Your Fire, 1987)
Free Will (Permanent Waves, 1980)
The Main Monkey Business (Snakes and Arrows, 2007)
The Larger Bowl (Snakes and Arrows, 2007)
Secret Touch (Vapor Trails, 2002)
Circumstances (Hemispheres, 1978)
Between the Wheels (Grace Under Pressure, 1984)
Dreamline (Roll the Bones, 1991)

break

Far Cry (Snakes and Arrows, 2007)
Workin' Them Angels (Snakes and Arrows, 2007)
Armor and Sword (Snakes and Arrows, 2007)
Spindrift (Snakes and Arrows, 2007)
The Way the Wind Blows (Snakes and Arrows, 2007)
Subdivisions (Signals, 1982)
Natural Science (Permanent Waves, 1980)
Witch Hunt (Moving Pictures, 1981)
Malignant Narcissism (Snakes and Arrows, 2007)
Neil Peart's Drum Solo
Hope (an Alex lifeson solo acoustic 12-string piece) (Snakes and Arrows, 2007)
Summertime Blues (yes, the Eddie Cochrane song, from Feedback, the band's 2004 30th anniversary EP of cover songs)
The Spirit of Radio (Permanent Waves, 1980)
Tom Sawyer (Moving Pictures, 1981)

Encore:

One Little Victory (Vapor Trails, 2001)
A Passage to Bangkok (2112, 1976)
YYZ (Moving Pictures, 1981)

That'll Be the Deity

Wow, I had no idea that being God, the Creator of the Universe, was so supremely dull that this is what he chooses to focus his energies on:

New Kensington resident Joey Salvati, 39, a father of two, was in the shower about a month ago when he first heard God speak to him about the matter. Whether it was an external or internal voice, he wasn't sure. He tried to ignore it, but it kept coming back, day after day, until he realized he had to do something about it. The message was for Salvati to make wooden paddles for corporal punishment and give them to parents who need help disciplining their children.

Curing disease and suffering? Nope. Putting an end to poverty? Uh-uh. Telling humans that killing people in his name is really bad idea? Not gonna happen, God's got better things to do. But making wooden paddles to beat the shit out of kids? Yep.

Oy gevalt.

Net Worth

Well, this is comforting. If someone were to sell my body to medical science, it would yield about four times what I got for my 10-year-old car. Truth be told, though, the car ran better.

$3950.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth

Mingle² - Online Dating

Gimme 40

This appears to be the 40th anniversary of many things, such as "The Summer of Love," Sgt. Pepper, me, and, as it turns out, the bane/convenience of all our existences: the ATM.

Before the first ATM was installed by Barclay's Bank near London in 1967, there was a lot of standing in line and writing of checks, though there were probably a lot fewer $20 bills in the United States back then.

Funny with all the advances in chip power how ATMs have not gotten any faster over time. In fact, Bank of America ATMs are getting slower. Oh, wait, that's so we can read their dumb ads while trying to get money...

Delta Dawn

Well, the trip to Atlanta went off without incident; actually, the flight(s) were far more pleasant than the drive down I-87 to Newburgh (why why why do people insist on doing <65 in the left lane when the signs quite clearly say "keep right except to pass"? Do they know the problems and near-accidents this causes?).

I was headed to Atlanta for the NAPL Technology Conference (or whatever it was called) and the hotel it was held at (the Renaissance Concourse) was located right at the airport, which was a pain, as I like to be closer to things to do and places to go rather than trapped at a conference. It was also one of those irritating hotels that have a fee for everything--Internet? $15 (uh, no, thanks; thankfully the BlackBerry worked just fine). Want to use the computer in the lobby? $10. Want the air conditioning on? $5. Want the air conditioning off? $6. Want towels? $9. Oy.

Still, this was the view from my room:
It's interesting how the universe loves to taunt me so. But sitting and watching planes take off and land for a while is really quite hypnotic, and was actually quite therapeutic for anticipating the return flight.

Anyway, I really don't like business travel all that much, and I find that the only advantage to it is to explore cities I've never been to--like Atlanta. The woman I sat next to on the plane (who is a sales rep for a company that imports handbags that resemble dogs--it sounds extremely upsetting) recommended a jazz club in Atlanta called Dailey's. I arrived at the hotel about 5:30 and was starving, and I try to avoid chain and hotel restaurants, so I looked up Dailey's Web site on my BlackBerry. It looked like a nice place, so I grabbed a cab and headed downtown. And it was a terrific restaurant--if a tad on the pricey side. They were known for a cracked pepper swordfish and it was phenomenal. I had never heard of black bean soup, but it was very good. After the second gin and tonic, I kept wondering if the restaurant was owned by Bill Daily, who played Major Healey in I Dream of Jeannie. (The spelling should have been a good indication that it was not.)

Next door to Dailey's restaurant is the jazz club/bar area I had heard about. I had about a half hour before the band came on, so I walked around downtown for a bit. Not a massively bustling city, but clean and pleasant enough. It definitely looks like it's in the midst of a renaissance of sorts.

The jazz club was nice enough, although it is also billed as a "cigar bar," which usually means you have to put your clothes in a HazMat van when you're done, but fortunately it wasn't crowded and no one was smoking cigars. It wasn't really a jazz band--more like a blues band and they did a decent enough job covering Van Morrison.

I was exhausted so I did not stay very long, although I did enjoy a local Georgia microbrew called Sweetwater Pale Ale, which is quite good.

The cab driver--the same one who had driven me there from the hotel; he gave me his card and was having a slow night and said to give him a call when I was ready to return--was a really nice if often impenetrably accented guy named Bade, who was of Nigerian extraction, having lived in Atlanta for 16 years. He gave me a tour (it was a flat rate to the hotel, so I wasn't being taken for a ride, so to speak) of the city--mostly of Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthplace, his original church, and where one of his first marches took place (it's a National Park now). We also went past Turner Field (the Braves were playing the Red Sox--I do not know who won, but was glad that I do not have a New England accent).

I did not see "The Magician" (you'll have to watch the Futurama clip below).

After my presentation Wednesday afternoon, I headed back to the airport. As I mentioned previously, I had not flown since before 9/11 and was not used to having to remove my shoes (although all I could think of was Kurt Vonnegut's quote that it was a good thing no one tried to sneak exploding pants onto a plane). Still, even with the immense security lines in Atlanta, everyone was well-behaved and the staff there know how to keep everyone moving. The Atlanta airport has its own subway system, but I elected to walk (I had a lot of time) the 3000 feet to Concourse B. Unfortunately, I realized too late that I had left my shoe inserts (for my plantar fasciitis foot problem) in my dress shoes--which were in the luggage I had checked. Doh!

It was about dinner time and after searching desperately and with aching feet for a place to eat that was not completely mobbed, I finally found a Sam Adams pub right near my gate and had a few pints of Sam's Summer Ale and a cheeseburger that was slightly less inedible than a McDonald's cheeseburger.

As it turned out, the flight was an hour late taking off because the crew were delayed getting in from Gulfport, MS. There was some grumbling; actually, every Delta flight was delayed, leading some to think DELTA stood for "Doesn't Ever Leave The Airport," which I found amusing. Still, I'm a veteran of Amtrak, so an hour late is nothing. I just wish they had more seats at the gate (my feet were really killing me and the beer was wearing off).

The flight back itself was very pleasant (there's something quite ethereal about night flights), and I found the drive back up I-87 at 2 a.m. a much better time to be driving. I can see the appeal of being a vampire (except maybe for the blood thing).

All in all, I achieved my goal of coming several steps closer to getting over my fear of flying. London, here I come!

South by Southwest

I think a big part of my fear of flying came from all the times I had to fly on Southwest when I lived in California. I dug through my video archives and edited together these clips of my various flights on Southwest Airlines:

More Obsessing About Atlanta

Of course, I can never think of Atlanta without thinking of the Futurama episode "The Deep South," which explains what happened to Atlanta by the year 3000.

In the Court of the Crimson King

I couldn't find a video of King Crimson doing "One More Red Nightmare" (see below) but I did find pretty much the same lineup (except with the addition of David Cross on mellotron and violin) doing "Easy Money" from their 1973 Larks Tongues in Aspic record.

For the Birds

Video of Andrew Bird playing "Fiery Crash" live in Minneapolis, a week before mi hermano and I saw him in Boston.